Monday, 11 March 2013

Bananas, Sex (& Rpatz) Will Stop Migraines...apparently

Last week two articles appeared in the Daily Mail about Migraine. One was about a 38 year old Mother who had found that eating Bananas had "cured her crippling migraines". The other was reporting on a recent German study, leading with the headline: "One in five migraine sufferers had no symptoms after sex".
Eric, Banana Man!! I bet he can help....
So, am I meant to eat the Bananas while I have sex? How many Bananas do the trick? Or do I have sex, then eat a Banana? If I'm having a bad turn, say a 3 day bugger of a migraine, that's a lot of medical sex, so I'll be pretty hungry afterwards, I'll want a lot of Bananas. Do you think Tesco's will do me a deal?

OK, I'm being facetious. I'm geniunely happy for the lady in the Daily Mail article. Reading the piece closely, it appears that her migraines have really been tempered, not cured, by regulating her blood sugar. Ironically, Bananas are a trigger for many migraineurs. I was told years ago by a Specialist Gynaecologist (random I know) that we women should eat a little complex carbohydrate every three hours - as that's when our blood sugar levels dip, or something. Men, apparently, being obviously superior creatures, can go for longer! I see this as my excuse to eat crisps frequently.

I'm every so slightly hypoglacemic, (I slightly wonder if Banana lady isn't too?) and it's very important for all of us migraineurs to keep even blood sugar levels - but it seems to have been an especially sensitive trigger for Lisa Poyner (that's her real name). And who knows - maybe there is something about Bananas that helps her specifically? As I like to say, migraines are bespoke after all.

And so to sex.  Here is a better break down of the recent German study, that was actually conducted by a questionnaire. This makes me slightly suspicious. I don't know if I'd answer an anonymous, postal questionnaire about my sex life completely honestly? But maybe I'm just an awful person? Don't answer that!

Although it is, of course, delightful to note that a small percentage of those who actually filled in the questionairre did find relief from their pain in such a feisty fashion - everyone reporting on this study has completely forgotten to mention a) I don't think Robert Pattinson is going to want to get down and dirty with me when my left eye is droopy or when b) even the touch of pillows feel like daggers in my skulls. But he is a super hot eternal vampire so he might have ways of removing my clothes without causing me any pain or discomfort? And c) what if I have one of my mega stomach blow fish spasms that make me look like a cow giving birth?  It's not, exactly, attractive. But - this would all be for science. So, Rpatz, I hear you and skinny whatsherface are having trouble, what do you say? Will you be my migraine buddy with 'benefits'?

Rpatz & Me

Nearly every reporter has wittily noted that it looks like now we, women migraineurs, will not be able to use the age old adage of "Not tonight, dear, I have a headache." Oh you stupid fools. Yes, we have just been faking it all these years. But now you've given the game away what excuse can we give to the gullible men in our lives? "Not tonight, dear, I've run out of Bananas?"


Links:
http://www.healthcentral.com/migraine/c/123/159570/treating-migraines-headaches/2?ic=2601
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2287618/Sex-better-headache-cure-painkillers-1-5-migraine-sufferers-symptoms-sex.html
http://cep.sagepub.com/content/early/2013/02/19/0333102413476374.abstract
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2287786/Mother-claims-20-years-crippling-migraines-cured-diet-BANANAS.html
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9906594/Why-sex-is-a-better-headache-cure-rather-than-painkillers.html
http://chickletteshobby.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/in-my-humble-opinion.html
http://www.migrainetrust.org/factsheet-hypoglycaemia-and-migraine-10907
http://migraine.com/blog/a-balanced-diet-living-with-migraines/
http://thatmword.com


12 comments:

  1. Love it! Keep that sense of balance and humor. :-)

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  2. Oh you stupid fools. Yes, we have just been faking it all these years.

    **

    I lol'd :)

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    Replies
    1. Hee hee, thanks Maia and Larissa...I hope you're both having fun with some Bananas right now! x

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  3. Hilarious. I read out your second paragraph in the office and when we got to the bit about medical sex we were in hysterics. Ehem, but it has to be said... that sex does actually help my migraines. It's just that the timing could be better as I usually get that whilst at work.

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    1. Well then why don't you buy your co-workers some Bananas, or bribes, and smile nicely? I'm sure one of them would be willing to help you out....!!

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  4. My 63 yr old mother has been driving me mad with the banana thing these past few days. Now I'm wondering whether she read the sex story, too, but chose not to share that one!

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  5. Sex is a wonderful distraction from the migraines! Maybe it's the endorphins? Never, ever used the excuse of a headache when offered sex haha... so normal, non chronic migraine sufferers have NO excuse!

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    Replies
    1. Go Maggie! Any update on the Botox saga by the way?

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    2. Nope, still waiting for bureaucratic rubbish to be cleared up.

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  6. All we know migraine is really a problem to us, sometimes we do not know what we are going to do, sometimes we may think we will crack or bump our head to a wall. I think we can think of sex as a natural treatment to certain condition we may experience, but still we should remember to have always a safe sex or we should only have one partner.

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