- DON'T HAVE A LIE IN - GET UP EARLY AND OPEN PRESENTS
- WEAR SLIPPERS ALL DAY
- CARRY A BUNCH OF MISTLETOE AT ALL TIME
To get yourself out of any 'danger' situations - i.e sitting next to your Aunt who wears that hideous perfume that seems to block up your nostrils after one whiff - hold up your mistletoe. Hold it up high above her head, beam lovingly at your Aunt and say 'Pucker up Auntie, I have the mistletoe'! She will then proceed to make a polite excuse to move away. Obviously, there is a very slight possibility of this trick going awry - but give it a try.
- WEAR A BUM-BAG WITH SUPPLIES
Hopefully, you will have already purchased yourself an early Christmas present of a designer Stella McCartney bum bag (Americans, this is a fanny pack - they really don't sound good in either language do they?). You must then fill your designer bum bag with everything you need to survive the day: a mini bottle of water, brandy, pain killers, triptans, eye masks, ear plugs, rescue remedies, hot water bottle - any and everything that will help you. Have no shame in lying down on the sofa at 1pm and donning your lavender eye mask and putting in your ear plugs to drown out the screams of over excited children. Simply place the mistletoe and the bottle of brandy on top of the all in one snuggie that you will be wearing, and your family will simply conclude you have drunkenly passed out and you will be left in peace. Simples.
The combination of wearing sparkly uggs, a snuggie with a bum bag over the top will probably start some new fashion craze - so not only will you have survived Christmas but you will be in all the magazines. Could you ask for more?
I do hope these essential survival tips help you get through the festive season with joy and peace. I've had my share of Christmas disasters in the past but this year I am determined to make it through in style and comfort. See you all in 2014!
Link to other helpful ideas: